I’M CONFUSE!!!

Ho, today I’m feel so confuse, so I don’t know what as post I want really did.

Today, I had a psychiatrist visit I’m go with my dad BUT my dad have some neurological problems and he didn’t want see a other neurologist because he don’t care.

With her problems, in car he trembles and almost drops the steering wheel several times and me I have already some panic attacks in car so with this I have 1 billion fears of more.

I  thought that us will not arrive at the gare station.

IT WAS SO STRESSFUL, I HAD SO MANY FEARS THAT US WILL NOT ARRIVE AT THE GARE.

So, after back home I’m always so confuse during some hours I sought what post I could do but I don’t find.

On this night I ate as even my Nutella Waffle but today I don’t want eat my chocolate of the day from my calendar ( saturday, I had forgetten ).

I’m so confuse but I had need to did a post for talk of this because I’m really so confuse.

From my home the moon wasn’t really near than usual.

I’m go to bed always confused.

PSYCH – FAVORITE EPISODES

This is a little post with my favorite episodes of PSYCH TV Show.

I love this series cause it’s fun the duo of Shawn and Gus.

Actually, I watch a episode during that I eat my lunch box and sometimes outside this time, at this moment I watch again some episodes that they have a link with Halloween time.

Season 1

( This season I have not seen all episodes )

Episode 5: 9 Lives

Episode 14: Poker? I Barely Know Her

Episode 15: Scary Sherry: Bianca’s Toast

Season 2

Episode 3: Psy vs. Psy ( I like it but at some time he annoys me ).

Episode 10: Gus’s Dad May Have Killed An Old Guy!

Episode 16: Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead

Season 3

Episode 1: Ghosts

Episode 9: Christmas Joy!

Episode 10: Six Feet Under the Sea

Season 4

Episode 8: Let’s Get Hairy

Episode 13: Death is on the Air

Episode 15: The Head, The Tail, The Whole Damn Episode

Season 5

Episode 3: Not Even Close… Encounters

Episode 14: The Polarizing Express

Season 6

Season 7

Episode 11: Office Space

Season 8

Episode 3: Remake A. K. A. Cloudy… With a Chance of Improvement

This was a lap of my PSYCH favorite episode.

ABOUT MY ATYPICAL ANOREXIA

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Last Wednesday I do a post About My Borderline Personality Disorder and today it’s About My Atypical Anorexia.

( Side note: I do not give my weigh nor my bmi you must know that I was not really fat ( in my head, yes ), I took any kilos cause a medication alone. Today I lost some weight but I do not extremely under the normal bmi ).

My Atypical Anorexia had started slowly beginning March 2016, I started by no eat during approximately 10 days after that I had learned one hard new after this days I ate a little more but at this moment and because during 10 days with no eat I saw that no eat could to do lost weight and because I wanted lost weight because I found myself fat I started to ate little more but without above overhead 400 Kcal / day I saw that I lost weight so I wanted to continue after two weeks at 400 Kcal / day I’m above at 600 Kcal / days because my mother sream on me because I don’t ate.

Between that I’m above from 400 Kcal / day at 600 I started to count and weigh all I ate and to weigh myself so more ( some times by day ).

I continued that during approximately 4 – 5 months and after day by day or I continued to lost weight I saw that I couldn’t continue to lost weight and stay at 600 Kcal / day.

After that and some events and encouragements from some persons I decided of try eat a little more. It’s very hard from 600 I decided of fix myself one goal for above at 800 Kcal / day but it’s hard psychological because I saw myself fat even if I knew that I can’t lost again lots of more weight. I arrived at 800 and after some weeks psychological it was better good. The next goal was to above 900 Kcal / day and after 1000 Kcal / day I managed. During this time I managed not weigh myself all time in a day.

I do regularly relapse psychological ( actually I’m on one ) because I seeing always fat but I try to be at least 1000 Kcal / day I manage to be at 1100 – 1200 – 1300 (rarely ) by day sometimes but overhead 1100 it’s very very hard psychological, actually it’s hard to be overhead 900 Kcal / day.

Today I weigh always all I ate and now I weigh myself all the mornings alone.

In some Keys Dates:

Beginning March I stop eat.

The third weeks of March I started eat until 400 Kcal / day and weigh myself regularly.

Beginning April I started to count and weigh all I ate and started to eat 600 Kcal / day.

This during 4 – 5 months

Beginning July and after Summer Vacation I started to eat 800 Kcal / day I decided to try new food after Summer Vacation I started to weigh myself least on one day beginning August I weigh myself alone the mornings.

Beginning August I decided officially to try eat one new food by week.

Simultaneously at this I’m above at 900 and after 1000 Kcal / day.

Recap at this time:

I’m at about 1000 Kcal / day sometimes least and sometimes more I’m feel always fat sometimes other time least in the time I feel very fat it’s very hard psychological to be 1000 Kcal / day.

I’m weigh myself all the mornings when I wake up not 8 times by day now.

I continue to try a new food by week even if in September I had a little stop it with the Nice trip.

I don’t lost weight sometimes just any hundred of grams or a take any hundred grams (It’s so hard ).

I count always all I eat but sometimes after eating and not before, in October Goals I will try do not count my breakfast if I eat always the same.

A About My Atypical Anorexia story; I don’t know how explain overwise.

Thanks For Reading, Take Care.